Le baggage emotional

17 Sep

One bite won’t hurt, right?

(source)

Today I was at the gym getting ready for my Monday usual of kick-boxing when I overheard some of gym girlfriends discussing how during the week, they’re “so good” when it comes to eating and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but on the weekends, it’s much harder.  I joined the conversation and before I knew it, we were talking food porn. You know what I mean when I say food porn, right? If you don’t, food porn is talking about the treats and goodies that are out there that are over the top delicious and decadent… but less than ideal for your waistline.  Some of things we talked about were fried chicken, biscuits loaded with butter, fettucini and it’s oh so yummy alfredo cream sauce, etc.  And of course we discussed how, if it’s in front of us, how we can’t just have one. Hello, it’s called “chips” for a reason.

She totally gets it.

For example, this weekend I indulged in Chinese food.  I am talking all out – pork fried rice, crab rangoons, chicken with broccoli – and not even with the sauce on the side.  I got it with brown rice, but who was I kidding? Like the brown rice makes it all “OK.” And it was amazingly delicious. Of course, now I am bloated due to all the sodium like it’s nobody’s business.   And my stomach was like “b!tch, I hate you.” Seriously, even this morning, my stomach was still riding a roller coaster.

And while it’s okay to indulge every once in a blue (we are all human after all), what kind of consequence does it carry? And what I am getting to is emotional baggage.  For those of us who have struggled with weight gain/loss or perhaps are female, it’s the inner voice in you head that says “once on the lips, forever on the hips,” and makes you feel “guilty” for salivating over a slice of cake and if you do, makes you feel like you need to hit the treadmill to compensate.  Now many of you may not think this way.  Some of you may compare yourself to others.  Or maybe none of this applies to you – if so, please teach me how. I want to learn.

I thought when I lost the weight, all of the emotional baggage that came with it, would go away. It didn’t – sometimes, it feels even more challenging to deal with.  It sucks.  When my pants feel a little more snug than usual – I get the same feeling when I was 87lbs heavier.  And I felt guilty when I didn’t run my race this weekend.  I hit the snooze button and went back to sleep.  But now looking at it, I needed the rest. With working full-time, school part-time, being the treasurer of an Honor Society, marriage, family, and general life… it’s a lot.  There are plenty of races to be run… but just one of me.  So, that said, it was comforting to hear other people struggle with the same issues as I do at the gym, but where does this line of thinking come from? Our mothers? Society? Why should we feel this way about ourselves? Is it okay to snark on other women when it comes to this?  Share your thoughts on this with me.

Okay, enough – onto fun stuff: Search Me Sunday. Search Me Sunday is going to be a new thing I will be doing where I post the silly items that people look up online that somehow brings them to my little blog. So, without further ado…

“Me after race” – hey, I am all for spectators, but I promise you that after the race is over, you’ll be getting lots of sweaty hugs.   Especially if you bring me a bagel.

Ran a 5K and my eye is twitching” – that really sucks if that happens to you!

“I picked up my glasses.” – see above – that may help with the eye twitch.

“Riding a bicycle pre-wedding photos.”  Can you not afford a limo to get to the venue??

“New york fitfluential bloggers” – Awww, I am not, but I applied to be one. Go tell Kelly Olexa how awesome I am, please? Kthxbai.

“Less than 100 calories red velvet cupcakes.” If you find these, please tell me. Better yet, bring me some.

Ohhh, and before I forget, only 4 more days until my birthday, woot! I’m gonna be an old lady at 28. Break out the Asper cream and rolling walker!  Really though, I accept cash, money order, checks – bank checks please, and of course, gift cards. 😉

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5 Responses to “Le baggage emotional”

  1. runwkate September 17, 2012 at 5:56 PM #

    Great post! You’e totally right about it being a female thing :-). I freak out when my glutes get bigger and smaller…my boyfriend happily sits around putting on 15 pounds and doesn’t give a damn.

    If I ever experience a twitchy eye – I’ll call you first 😉

  2. jfoyohealth September 17, 2012 at 5:05 PM #

    I totally had a moment with food this weekend. Yesterday I had the largest slice of pizza on the planet. I enjoyed every single bit of it. When you don’t have it all the time, it just taste so much better when you do. Right?
    You and I both are waiting for Kelly. If I get to her first I will tell her about you and please do the same.

    • runninglongislandnyc September 17, 2012 at 5:16 PM #

      Mmm, pizza. *drool*. Hahaha. I am glad you were able to enjoy it! 🙂 RE: Kelly – you got it!! Good luck!! 🙂

  3. jenna September 17, 2012 at 4:37 PM #

    happy early birthday! emotional baggage does stink!!! the most important thing is focusing on how amazing you’ve done already and how far you have come in your journey! don’t think about what you didn’t do today or what you should have done differently. it’s all a journey and a lifestyle. that doesnt mean it has to be perfect all the time!! :o) spa love to you and keep working hard celebrating everyday and the progress you’ve made!!!

    • runninglongislandnyc September 17, 2012 at 5:18 PM #

      Jenna, thank you so much for helping put it all in perspective – I really appreciate it!! Thanks for the SPA love too!! 🙂

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